First thing first, congrats to Mateo Cook on the baptism. Second thing... WHOS MANS?!
Not only did this chill guy get baptized, and not only did he do it in his dope AF Pineapple Party swim trunks, but he did it in a backwoods North Carolina river that’s likely teeming with leeches, water moccasins, and other frightening river creatures. Maybe his traps are bulging so hard because he just fought off an anaconda... who knows. Regardless, he comes up with nary a scratch on him.
The man upstairs was looking down on him with satisfaction, but we all know those righteous pineapple trunks are what gave him his strength. Like Thor putting on his magic power belt, Megingjør∂, this dudes powers must have at least doubled with that smooth elastic around his waist.
Props to you man. We’re thankful to have been there for such a momentous occasion. Keep sending in pics folks and #dare2bear baby.